I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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