So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
