well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
