And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
