I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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