The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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