Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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