yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize