go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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