I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
