Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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