Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Two words: blizzard sex
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
