i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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