5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
