batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
