So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
