i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
