But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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