I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
