he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
