I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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