Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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