I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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