I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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