five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize