I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
