I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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