At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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