yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
