So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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