Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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