do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize