so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize