kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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