Who wears a wallet chain?!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
