I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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