i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
