i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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