I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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