I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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