Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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