i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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