My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
