we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
