That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize