The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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