your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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