i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish I only lived at night.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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