sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
