dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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