I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
