Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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