How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
