Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
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