I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you mean i was at the winter classic?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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