Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
