You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
