return my video game
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize