I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
