Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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