i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
