Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
