i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
