Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
