guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
